Friday, May 4, 2012

I'm running out of interesting things to say...


Please note I wrote this on Monday. I finally finished it now… because I’m a procrastinator.

I was so excited to go to school this morning for some reason. Sometimes I just get really excited to go to school. It’s almost as if my body knows that something awesome is gonna happen and it wants my brain to be excited, but it won’t tell my brain what I’m excited about. All I know is that I was really excited this morning. So I did all of my makeup and straightened my hair and got dressed up all pretty and stuff and I went out into the living room to put my shoes on.

My dad was laying on the couch and he was still all rolled up in blankets and wearing nothing noting but his underwear. So I was all like, “WTF! You have to drive me to school!”

Then he said, “You’re not going to school today, you’re sick.”

Really? I didn’t know I was sick. You’d think that I would figure this out before he did.



I’m pretty sure there’s some law out there that forbids parents from calling their kids into school just because they’re too lazy to get out of bed.

So now I don’t have any interesting stories from school to tell you about. I have to sit here in my room yet again and try to think of some interesting thing to tell you about. I can’t have good stories to tell if I never leave my room!

I feel like there should be more pictures in this post so here's some random pictures of cats that I found in my Pictures folder.





Thursday, May 3, 2012

Eminem


My mom love Valium, and lots of drugs! That’s why I am like I am, cuz I’m like her. Cuz my mom love valium and lots of drugs! That’s why I’m on what I’m on, cuz I’m my mom!

You know I got a bunch of new Eminem songs a few days ago? Well I found a few songs that are actually kinda good! I have regained my respect for you, Eminem. <3



In all of my Eminem fantasies, he doesn’t have a shirt on. Just deal with it.





That’s all I have to say, so please subscribe and stuff!! And also, if you sort of like Eminem, watch the music video 3 AM. And buy the album Relapse: Refill on iTunes. Oh yeah, free advertising, you’re welcome Eminem!


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I am a failure at life and living in general.

I'm too lazy to make a blog today so I'm just gonna post random stuff...


But seriously.... I only have like 80-some page view and half of them are from russia... Why?

So overall, I think what I'm trying to say is: Kids, don't do drugs. Drugs are bad. They make you sick in the brain and they make your teeth yellow and they make your organs sad. Nobody wants to date anyone with yellow teeth, and nobody likes sad organs. So please, children, brush your teeth and don't do drugs.





Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Truth About Everything


I have been trying to think of a good idea for literally the entire day and I couldn’t think of one. Then, of course, right when I stepped into the shower I thought of the most amazing idea ever. I was thinking about how awesome it would be to type about it and how I would word everything exactly right so that everything I said was funny. Then I forgot it. Then I thought of another, slightly less amazing idea and I came here to type about it. But as I was typing this introduction, I forgot it.

No.

I remember it now.

I. Love. Babies. Ever since I was ten years old and I held my baby sister, Elly, for the first time, I knew that I wanted to have a baby. My dilemma for the four years was the fact that I was physically incapable of having babies.

Then when god bestowed that wonderful gift upon me, I was given the responsibility of keeping myself not pregnant; no matter how much I wanted to have a baby. I got very very paranoid after a while, even though I obviously had nothing to worry about.








Then I realized what my life would be like in twenty years if I had a baby the way I wanted to. It wasn’t pretty.



NO! Ladies, don’t let your kids turn out like me.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Preserving My Sanity

Now don’t get me wrong, I love love LOVE my baby sisters. But I have to live with them 24/7 and you can’t live in their fantasy world forever without going insane.


For that very reason, I try to politely and discreetly avoid them as much as I possibly can. Unfortunately, this leads to some very uncomfortable situations and sometimes hurts my sanity more than actually playing with my sisters.








Also, if you like me and think I’m funny or something along those lines, then please subscribe to this blog and comment and stuff! And if you don’t like me, then just subscribe anyway and regret it for the rest of your life. PLEASEEEE!!!


Sunday, April 29, 2012

Blackouts

This morning I woke up on the ground with a puddle of drool by my face. Only half awake, I looked around at my surroundings in utter confusion. I had no idea where I was. Then I realized that I had fallen asleep in the entryway of my apartment with my iPod blaring in my ears. I didn’t remember anything from last night at all… The whole experience reminded of the plot of The Hangover.




Wow, I’m sounding like such a drug addict! I swear to god I’m not addicted to any illegal drugs. I’m probably addicted to caffeine, but other than that I don’t take any other drugs on a regular basis. I promise!

Anyway, so I wake up in the entryway of my house with dried spit smeared all over my face and this stupid, dazed look on my face.




My music is still playing in my ears as loud as it can go. So I turned on my iPod and looked at the songs to see what’s playing and I realize that I had bought 28 new Eminem songs. And they weren’t even good Eminem songs! Pretty much every single one of them was about him raping people and chopping them up into little pieces and drinking their blood.

Now, a normal person’s first reaction to this would probably be something like, “Oh my god! I just spent $36 on music! What am I gonna do?!” *panic attack*



But I am not a normal person. MY first reaction was a little more like this.




Saturday, April 28, 2012

Laundry

Nobody noticed that I disappeared for a couple months, but I'm gonna talk about it anyway. I stopped posting here because of a psychotic breakdown. Everyone was out to get me, I was going crazy.  But I'm not here to talk about that. (although that would be a much more interesting story) I came back because of an overwhelming need to complain about the laundry room in my apartment.....

Every week or so I'm faced with the challenge of doing my laundry. I live on the top floor of my apartment and the laundry room is at the bottom floor so it's a huge struggle to do laundry.








It usually takes me a good eighteen seconds to realize that the washing machine is being used. That’s when the horror finally settles in. I am faced with one of two choices. I can: 1. leave my clothes there and come back later or 2. I could drag them all the way back up the stairs to my apartment. There is no good outcome either way.